I haven’t been reading a lot lately, which isn’t a bad thing, but it is different. If you follow me on Instagram (if you don’t you should just click here!) you would have seen a post about me talking about feeling more happy. I have noticed that with that light feeling that I’ve had, I haven’t wanted to sit in my bed all day with the windows closed and read my books. Now I haven’t given up reading at all, I just have not sequestered myself to the pillows. Who knows it might just be because I haven’t started a book in awhile that has excited me. As I looked into why I haven’t been crushing my reading goals lately, I really had to look into myself and my own moods and see what was going on.
The conclusion in my own non scientific experiment was that I was not feeling the depression that was weighing me down in so many things. Now I want to be out and moving around and taking more pictures of books than I want to read them. I still have the desire to read them, but I don’t have the desire to sit still, so I need to use some of those audible credits it sounds like. As I was finding this out about my myself I then started to look at the book community.
A lot of the book community contains people who have titled themselves as introverts, which is fine, and that’s why they enjoy reading so much, but also why they love the book community. It gives them a place to socialize without having to socialize. Basically socializing on their own terms. There has also been a lot of discussion and talks about mental health going on in the book community as of late, which I think is fantastic, but they’re more discussions of people saying that they have a mental health issue and bringing light to that. Other than a chemical imbalance that some people face with their mental health, I want to explore what other reasons why a lot of book people feel down. For me, it was a birth control that spun my mental health all out of wack. If I was titling myself I would call myself an extroverted introvert. I can make conversation with anyone at any time and it doesn’t bother me at all, but I also need that space to be away from people some time.
I also wanted to explore the thought of reading for escapism. I know that I have said that in videos and looking back at that, I’m not even sure if that’s what I really meant to say. I always meant reading for escapism in terms of escaping to some place new, and now I think the new word I was trying to come up with is exploring. I feel like I read to explore new places, but not necessarily to escape from the place I’m at. I love where I’m at in life even with all of the mixed feelings and emotions, but it took time to get there. Sometimes I fear for the book community and the fact that too many people are escaping from life and not dealing with life, but everyone has their journey to get to where they need to be.
So my questions starts to become, do I only read when I’m depressed and how do I read in the same volume when I’m happy? Or do I need to change my expectations of myself and not put reading pressure on myself. These are some of the questions that I have and I don’t know any of the answers. I know that I need to take it a day at a time and still continue to read what I enjoy and have fun with it. Do you find your mood determines your reading? Until next time,
Keep turning the Pages